Episode: a change
Friday, July 4, 2008

Let me begin by saying sorry.

I am sorry to Yuni for skipping Takraw today and any other days.
I am sorry to Lee Peng and Carolyn for hardly any time to do the 50+ work.
I am sorry to Jazz and Ying Ying for expecting and rushing a lot for our History presentation.
I am sorry to my bro Ivan, Glenn, Rui Hon and Paul for not doing the Mr.Roboto costume.
I am sorry to Thierry for not consulting him, and I know he aspects a lot from me.
I am sorry to Maniya for being slow at times when she wants me to collect assignments.
I am sorry to Edwin for screwing the raft race and for taking sometime with the e-mails.
I am sorry to Rusydi for treating him differently behind his back.
I am sorry to Syafiq and Shah for hardly any time with them.(They are great people by the way)
I am sorry to Cindy for coming to her birthday and up till now still have not get something for her.
I am sorry to Alvin for teasing him about his kueh lapis.
I am sorry to Icy for any comments about her being skinny.
I am sorry to Cherlyn for pointing on her fashion sense.
And finally, I am sorry to my gal for being taken away from her family and wanting her for myself.
To those who I missed out, I am sorry for the things I have done to you guys, if ever offended by me.

With that, let me begin.
Started with my day going to school with my gal. She was late. Though I still wait for her. Then, when class start, I approached Jazz and Ying Ying about the history presentation. I gave them the book to read. After that, I left them to read it, while I search some information about the topic on the net. I saw them not reading the book. It felt like I was the one doing and they are not. I can see that I was expecting a lot and was rushing for the presentation which was next week. Lee Peng came to me, asking about the 50+ work. At that time, I was still searching for information to do the history presentation. I told her I'll get back to her as soon as I finished searching.

I stop searching when I saw Jazz and Ying Ying missing from their table. I was about to approach Lee Peng to do the 50+ work, but they were planning to go have breakfast at McDonald's. So, I went down with them and had breakfast. From the start of school until after breakfast, I ignored Thierry, as I had nothing to consult him about(I know I should have something prepared for him).


After breakfast, it was almost 12. So, without Lee Peng, I did the 50+ work by myself and did my part. And when my gal messaged me, I stop work and left the rest for them to do. Met my gal, and then went home.

I asked her out today, when I was suppose to have my CCA in the afternoon. That is when I told Yuni that I can't make it for Takraw. I told my gal to meet at 3 and a lot of times not to be late or change the timing. She did exactly that. The time was extended and she was late. In the end, we had to settle to watch the 5pm slot. But it was ok, as long as I could go out with her.

Anyways, we went to watch Hancock, my treat. The movie was great. Go watch. I liked the whole concept of a homeless and a drunk super hero. It was comical.


After the show, we ate at LJS. While eating, her mom called her and asks her to join her for some family related things. I can see that she really wants to go. Then, I was left silent. If she was going to follow her family, she had to leave me going home by myself. Then, I thought about my work, which many still left undone. It was an awkward silent that I gave, after knowing that I would have go home alone. She kept asking me why I was silent. I only gave half truth, which was thinking about my work. In the end I told her.

She then decided not to follow her family and go home with me. Then I felt bad, she left her family just because I was not being me, I was awfully quiet. I know she was trying to make me feel better. I never forced her to go home with me. It seems that I took her from her happiness, from her family, and I feel bad about it. In the end, the day turn out to be dull.

I never forced her. I always try to be there for her whenever I can. Sometimes starve myself in order to treat her. Giving my heart all this while. Putting her first ahead of my friends.
Maybe there is too much me in her life. I don't know. All I know is, if all the things I have done for her is taking up too much of her personal space, I should give space.

I don't know if I am a better person than I am now. Since I need to apologize to so many people, I don't think that I am. People deserve better from me, and I will be better. If it is not being myself, then that is what I am going to do.

Good luck finding the old me in me, because I am no longer.


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Aidie blogged @ 5:48 AM

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